Love/Risk

It was his house.  Those books on the shelves were his books.  That picture on the mantle was his picture.  The worn out, cushioned chair was his chair.  Those men and women, talking and eating, were his friends.  Those children were his grandchildren.  Everything in the house resonated of his being.  Everything was somehow connected to him.  His life’s story surrounded us, but he was not there.  He would never be there again.

That wife.  She was his.

She tried to busy herself about the house.  Serving food.  Making conversation.  Doing anything to set aside, even for just one second, the thick sorrow that started in her heart and permeated throughout the entire body.  But she could not hide it; she wanted her husband back, sitting in his chair, reading his books, talking with his friends.

She said to us in her sweet Southern voice, “I’m a widow.  I don’t know if I could ever get used to that word.”

She began to cry, and my heart broke for her.  Though the funeral had ended, the heartache had just begun.

Love.

There is so much to risk when we choose to love.  In fact, it could possible be one of the greatest risks on which we ever decide to place a gamble.  Once moment it may be the most blissful of blisses, and then, without warning, it may turn to reveal an ugly, gu-wrenching face that you once thought was impossible.

 ”Never could anything bad come from this love.  It is perfect,” someone says.  And then it becomes disastrous.

Most of us have, at one time or another, put our hearts on the line.  It could have been for a middle school crush that only lasted two days or it could have been for a marriage that endured for many decades.  Whatever the reason, we throw our hearts out there and become vulnerable in hopes that the same will be reciprocated.  We say that we will love until the end, shoving to the back of our minds that an end will come.

But we are human.  The end will come.  It has to come.

 Love disappoints.  One way or another, we will be let down by human love.  Even in marriage we find ourselves disappointed, angry by the action of our spouse, the ones who are supposed to love us unconditionally.  And even if one does love unconditionally, it still will end because from the very beginning of life, they, like us, are sentenced to an earthly death.  We, as humans, can not offer perfect love, nor can any human give us perfect love.  Perfect love does not end.  Ours will.

Understanding this, I often wonder why God decided to take on the risk of human love?  Why did He put so much stock in our reciprocation of His love?  Why did He, who can love perfectly, choose to go after something that is so flawed from the beginning?  With just a few words, my wife can cause me tremendous heartbreak.  So, why would God want to risk the inevitable heartbreak caused by billions and billions of people, most of whom reject Him completely with not just words but their entire life?  It is a gamble to which no human would even give the slightest consideration.

The Bible gives numerous examples of times when humans disappointed, frustrated, and saddened the God who created them.  His heart is consistently broken by the world that He so loved.  I can look at my own life and see that not much has changed from Biblical times.  I have neglected, taken advantage of, and disappointed the love of my God.  Have I reciprocated the perfect love He had given me?  Not even close.

So why?  Why does God want our flawed love?  He does not need it.  He was perfect and complete before time began, and He will be perfect and complete after time ends.

Truthfully, I could not think of a good enough answer.  It was very anticlimactic.

Because I could not find the ultimate answer, I decided to parallel God’s want for love with the same human desire for love.  Why do we want to love and be loved?  Why are we willing to risk our beings for something that is as fragile as human love?  By God’s design, we are wired for it.  And maybe, this is a part of His image in us.  We need to love and be loved.

And even though human love is imperfect, the taste is still sweet.  It is still worth it.

Do I think that the recently widowed woman would want to go back and erase the love she held for her husband throughout the decades so that she might avoid the pain of losing him?  Definitely not.

Would I miss out on the love of my wife and family.  Absolutely not.  It is just too beautiful.

Is the imperfect love God receives from us worth all His pain, frustration, and disappointment?

Though I can not understand it, I would have to assume so.

The love He gives us is perfect.  We can take it and hold it tightly, not concerned that it will, one day, fall apart or give up on us.  We can confidently cherish it throughout eternity.  As we receive this perfect love, we in turn must offer up all that we can, all that can be given as reciprocation.  What we give Him will never compare to what He gives us, but for some reason, He wants it.  So, we give it.  We give the imperfect, human love on which He is willing to take a risk.