When God Calls

The past year was a roller-coaster.  Not the wooden roller-coasters that drop you over a few hills but the twisted steel, gravity-defying roller-coasters that turn you left and right at the same time while upside down in a loop.

So maybe things have not been quite that dramatic, but there were many changes in my life.  And it sure felt like I was pulled from place to place.  I graduated from college, got married, moved away from all my family, got a job, moved into a new home, and started on my master’s degree.  In the midst of all the turmoil, I felt like my life was right on track.  But in the past few months, a question arose and still continually arises in my mind: On whose track am I traveling?

It seems that I entered a corkscrew in which I am completely unclear as to when it will end.  I do not like the feeling.  In recent weeks my prayers have focused in on the issue.  I consistently ask God, “What do You want me to do with my life?”  This is a question that many, if not all of us, ask ourselves.  We keep praying and seeking God’s Word for the answer until we receive it.  This period of waiting can be frustrating.  I have found myself completely frazzled because I want to know now what God wants me to do with the rest of my life.  And I know that God reveals His plan in His own timing, but that knowledge did not seem to set me at ease.  So I went to the Bible for more guidance.  I wanted to know how I should prepare myself to answer the call from God.

 My studies brought me to the story of Abraham and Isaac found in Genesis 22.  Abraham had the unthinkable task of sacrificing his son in order to show his true faith to God.  The story ends with Abraham and Isaac sacrificing a ram together because Abraham indeed responded to God’s call with great faith.  What grabbed my attention from the story was not the ending, but the beginning.  In one verse, when God called Abraham to this test of faith, Abraham simply responded, “Here I am.”

A short time later, my studies brought me to the New Testament.  Acts 9 tells the story of a man by the name of Paul, and his conversion to Christianity on the way to the city of Damascus.  Once again, it was not the magnificent revealing of Christ in which Paul was converted that grabbed my attention; it was by the man God called to go visit Paul after this experience.  His name was Ananias.  Ananias responded to God’s calling to go to Paul with a simple response, “Here I am, Lord.”

Just over a week ago, I was listening to a pastor from Mount Vernon, Illinois.  He was preaching on the story of Moses.  Beginning in Exodus, Moses grew up as a Hebrew in Egypt.  After making a bad decision, Moses fled to the desert.  God had a special plan for Moses to go back and lead his Hebrew nation out from the persecution of the Egyptians into a land that was promised by God.  It was once again, not the great plan that Moses was called to do that received my focus.  My focus was honed in on the response of Moses when God called in Exodus 3.  It was simply, “Here I am.”

Three amazing figures in the Bible that God used in tremendous ways all had the same response.  Their response was a clear indicator of their attitudes toward God’s calling.  They were not sitting around trying to figure out what God’s plan was.  They were simply ready to do the will of God, so that when He did call, they would not miss it.

Seeing their responses has made me reevaluate my attitude toward always knowing the will of God.  Instead of trying to determine what God is calling me to do, I just need to be open to God’s call.  My attitude needs to change.  It does not need to be mono-focused on performing a particular task; rather it just needs to be open.  So that when God does call, I can simply answer, “Here I am.”

That is my prayer now.  I simply pray that I am always available for God.  I wish that I could say that I am totally content not knowing God’s plan for me right now, but I can’t.  I can say though, when God reveals His will, I will be ready.  That is really all I can do right now.

I have also learned that I am still on God’s track.  I guess when you are upside down and turned around, you can get confused which way you are going.  As long as I keep my eyes toward Him, He is going to lead me.  There will still be more unforeseen loops, but knowing I am on the right track by simply saying, “Here I am,” I can enjoy the thrill of the ride a little more now.